The following message is a paid advertisement and is in no way affiliated with Thorenoussardus or Thorenoussardus Enterprises, Inc.

S.O.S. alarm is for stupid people doing stupid things in stupid places they shouldn’t be in. Stupid Operational Systems, or S.O.S. is an alarm service you can call if you find yourself in one of the following situations:

-you need ransom insurance because you are filthy rich and were kidnapped because you were “making it rain” down at the club.

-you are a risky adventurer, hiking at Iran/Iraq border or exploring the jungles of Bolivia without a guide.

-you find yourself in a Russian gulag because you joined a pro-Ukrainian demonstration outside of the Kremlin.

Simply call our toll free number 1-800-YOU-IDIOT (€100 connecting fee and ¥400 for each additional minute). Our automated bot will tell you how dumb you are and how you very much deserve whatever consequences you are now receiving. Our bot is guaranteed to be patronizing toward you, stating: “Why did you think this was a good idea? Does it seem like a good idea now?What were you thinking?”

S.O.S. is here for you when no one else will tell you the truth you need to hear!