How to HumanIfy?

HumanIfy/hū•man•e•fi (verb/adverb) – the process or act of becoming less human based on the presupposition that humans are bad people and people are bad humans.

Perhaps we can learn to be less like the chimpanzees and even less like the humans that share a common ancestor with them.

1. forget that you are a talky animal every once in a while and just be quiet for a bit.

2. try not having an opinion just once today.

3. take time to play with your vagina so you remember to not be a dick.

4. if someone is having a rough go of it, be grateful that it’s not happening to you.

5. realize that you have most of the things you need right now.

6. if steps 1-5 don’t work right away then start being viscous, hateful and disrespectful, thus proving the point that humans are bad people and people are bad humans.

Reversed evolution

The only way to save the planet is to initiate a reversed evolution. Dr. Unc, expert in evolutionary psychology explains:

It’s true, very true! Human evolution has come to a dead end, which can only lead to destruction and badly death for all of us. So we must find a way to reverse evolution and become more ape-like creatures again. Eventually, we will become single-celled organisms, thus fixing the problem of too many homo sapiens. Happy devolution everybody!

Ask Doktor Unc

Junior asks: My dad says that Dinos are fake and that monkeys have nothing to do with us humans. Is that true?

Dear JR! Your dad is very much welcome to my clinic to try one of my very popular psychotherapy methods. I use VR-technology where you will meet a fake fake god that is having a discussion with both dinos and monkeys about those questions. It looks very very real, except for the god-thing, he/it is very fuzzy, hard to really grasp, kind of blurry, nah, I’m actually very disappointed on that part of this VR-app. But when thinking more on it, it’s very close to reality isn’t it? However, the dinos and monkeys are very much in HD, 3D, and in true vivid color. Dear Juno, to answer your question; It’s more likely that your Dad is fake and that he has nothing to do with either you, the great dinos or the monkeys. But to be really sure, please send him on to the clinic.


People watch news, politics and weather to keep up with current events, but people also operate under the false assumption that they are somehow controlling outcomes.

News, weather and politics are not particle matter which behave differently, depending on whether or not there’s a viewer. It’s not a Higgs boson… until now!

Employing the latest mathematical solutions from AI, string theory and quantum computing, Cntrl© puts the power to change the way YOU view the universe into YOUR pocket!

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