Congratulations!

We did it! Eight billion people on the planet. Special shout out to India and China. Special thanks to you for your contribution in combating the underpopulation crisis.

We saw the population figures from the 1970‘s and we doubled it! Well done. More cows belching and farting methane, more starvation and less resources to go around. Water crisis incoming. Happy days indeed.

Keep producing more and more people and don’t even think about condoms or any other form of birth control. Get on board and we’ll beat this underpopulation problem yet. Together we can make a difference!

Ballooning

BYC are planning to launch their EV in the United States later this year. The cars will be transported using balloons.

In other completely unrelated news, the Americans are fortifying their military program, “The China Syndrome” in order to shoot down the balloons before they can enter U.S. airspace.

General Jeb “Warhead” Killemall: There’s gonna be a lot of shootin’. If it comes here, we’ll shoot it down. We shoot first… and we don’t ask questions later. I think that’s how the saying goes.

US syndrome

A suspicious hole has been discovered in San Francisco’s Chinatown under the street where a food truck is serving dumplings. The hole appears to be endless.

Hole expert Jeb Drillon: Hell yeah, it probably leads straight to China! This takes spying to a whole new level. We got your weather balloon and now we’re raising the stakes.