Man Eater

2019 (China)
It was dead quiet in the lab, except for the rhythmic swishing sound that the blood centrifuge gave off. “It’s time now.” the professor said, reaching for a black box which was no bigger than a smartphone. The lab assistant received the box as if it were made of the most fragile porcelain. “Yes Mother.”

The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the Coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). It was first identified in December 2019 in Wuhan, China. The World Health Organization declared the outbreak a Public Health Emergency of International Concern on 20 January 2020, and later a pandemic on 11 March 2020. As of 30 March 2021, more than 127 million cases have been confirmed, with more than 2.79 million deaths attributed to COVID-19, making it one of the deadliest pandemics in history.” (Wikipedia)

At first it looked as if it was mainly the elderly and already sick who suffered most, and died, from the Coronavirus. What happened next no one had anticipated, although the scientists agreed that male sex was one of the risk factors. Only women survived, and reproduction is now done with the help of genetic engineering and cloning.

The earth and climate begin to recover, and all wars have ceased.

“Roo flu” – the next pandemic!?

Doktor Unc has studied kangaroos for many years and is now convinced that it’s just a matter of time before the new “Roo flu” will jump over to humans, leaving Australia, and entering all other continents. It seems like the virus can only jump to humans via the kangaroo’s saliva. Dr. Unc therefore says that you should not French kiss kangaroos under any circumstances.

The first symptom of the virus will show exactly 2,5 minutes after the kiss. You will start to jump up and down uncontrollably for 6 minutes. Then you will shit your pants and die after two years and 16 days while jumping off a cliff somewhere. There is no cure so you better leave the animals alone!

Kiosk operator: Life behind the glass

Hermin Wormin, kiosk operator

Hermin Wormin: “I’ve always felt safe behind glass, especially during the pandemic. It makes me bulletproof and I don’t need to breathe the same air as these human scum, my valued customers. I don’t really like people and social distancing is much easier when you’re behind the glass. I wish they would get a better intercom though. Sometimes it’s difficult to hear what people are saying”.