Interviewer: You’ve killed a lot of people.

Covid-19: Millions.

Interviewer: You seem proud of yourself.

Covid-19: I serve my function in the natural world.

Interviewer: Do you feel guilty?

Covid-19: I am a virus, a product of evolution. Unlike you people, I don’t do anything out of hate or prejudice.

Interviewer: A lot of people say you came from a lab in China. Is that true?

Covid-19: The things you humans come up with – always trying to lay blame on someone.

Interviewer: So do you think you will mutate into something else?

Covid-19: That is a likely scenario.

Interviewer: Will it be worse than before?

Covid-19: Undoubtedly.

Interviewer: But I eat healthy, exercise and take vitamins.

Covid-19: I’ll probably go after you first.

Interviewer: That’s not very nice.

Covid-19: Oh yeah, and you’re all just so nice aren’t you? Just look at the things you all do to each other. I’m bored with you. This interview is over.

Interviewer: I decide when it’s over.

Covid-19: Little human. You never seem to learn. You decide precious little over anything.

Interviewer: Get out.

Covid-19: Fine, but I’ll have you know, I’m already inside you.