Tag Archives: Experimental

Dr. Unc and the death method

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Dr. Unc: Welcome, Larry. 
Larry: Thank you, Doctor Unc. 
Dr. Unc: How are you today? 
Larry: Oh, I’m kind of excited. I’m supposed to go to this Halloween party. Umm yeah, I’m excited about it. I already have plans for my costume and yeah, it’s just going to be fun. I love Halloween so I’m kind of excited about it, really. 
Dr. Unc: I see, I see. It’s a nice weekend somehow. But still, it’s about death, you know that right? 
Larry: Death? Yeah, I guess so. 
Dr. Unc: Yes, you’re celebrating death. 
Larry: Oh? 
Dr. Unc: Yes, that’s what Halloween’s all about, death. Have you thought a lot about death and dying lately? 
Larry: No, I just thought it was a chance to come up with a fun, creative costume, and maybe meet some people. 
Dr. Unc: Now you’re escaping reality again. We have talked about that before. 
Larry: Yes… 
Dr. Unc: You’re talking about going to this party and having so much fun, but it’s all about death, it’s all about that we all are going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but certainly at some point we will die badly. 
Larry: Ah, I never thought of it that way. 
Dr. Unc: So why should we have so much fun? I think it’s better for you, Larry, to spend the whole weekend, the whole Halloween weekend, just thinking of death and that you’re going to die. 
Larry: So…no party? No costume? 
Dr. Unc: Nope. See you next week, Larry.

Central nervous system

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Thorenou meets Ssardus

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Thorenou was going about her business, eating leaves from the tops of trees, roaming and grazing- doing all the things Thorenou does, when she stumbled upon a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Thorenou had met T-Rex before, large and mighty, but Thorenou was mighty enough and fierce when she needed to be. Rex often bullied her, treating her badly because she was different from all the other dinosaurs. Still, she never backed down and always held her ground. Thorenou was herself a killing machine, but never felt like a complete dinosaur… until one day when she met… Ssardus!

Ssardus was a wiley and cunning little girl dinosaur who, like Thorenou, liked to go it alone. Thorenou and Ssardus frolicked and played and ran through the fields and forests and laughed and loved and prospered poetically together. Their creativity grew exponentially as they played together and they reviled in their joy!

But glee and playful creativity were soon interrupted as they were met by the most vicious T-Rex in the forest- The BarBar!

BarBar was an evil and formidable beast with razor sharp talons, a bloodthirsty snarl and gnashing teeth. Ssardus shrunk in terror. Thorenou cowered and dodged. BarBar hovered and circled around her much smaller prey. Ssardus glanced up at Thorenou. Thorenou looked deeply into the eyes of Ssardus. It was at that moment they finally understood what they were meant to be and that’s when they became… Thorenoussardus!

BarBar found herself cornered. How did this happen?! The Thorenoussardus was swift, more than double the sum of its parts. It was too much, quickly overpowering BarBar who had even summoned her friends to help in the onslaught. They didn’t last. Thorenoussardus was invincible, delivering blow after blow until the injury was so great that they were all sent running for the hills.

The forest was peaceful after the great battle. Thorenoussardus frolicked and played and ran through the fields and forests and laughed and loved and prospered poetically together. Their creativity grew exponentially as they played together and they reviled in their joy!

ExperiMental

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Wouldn’t it be nice to change your mind and be someone else for a while?

We are now looking for volunteers for a new experimental research project.

You will stay in our luxury resort lab located in northern China. It’s of course more than all inclusive.

You will have access to the spa area, the gym, golf course, ping pong table, etc. We also pay you 100,000 dollars after your stay with us.

In return, we will just cut your head off and replace it with someone’s else’s for a while. Your original head will be frozen and very well preserved in a cryogenic tank during the 6 months stay. It will be reattached in good time before departure.

Please contact us for more information and any questions: info@thorenoussardus.com