Cherub leaves Catholic church to start tech company, plans to make billions.

After changing the name of his tech startup from PraiseBook to Zeta, this cherub is now on his way to becoming the next Silicon Valley sensation to deliver a platform that no one understands but can probably make a lot of money on.

Ex-catholic cherub Dark Fuckerturd: If we can build it, then tear it down, then build it again, then change the name, they’ll come.

Asylum seeker

Adult seeks permanent asylum in VR

I’m sick of all this shit. Just upload me to the metaverse already! I’m tired of loading the dishwasher, fighting traffic, going to bed on time, working and not getting paid enough, politics, religion and war. There’s a better place; a better way. It’s called BONELAB and it’s waiting there for me!

In the “real world” I’m just some idiot driving, a moron walking around or a complete jackass standing in line. In Virtual Reality, I’m driving a go cart on the moon! Here I’m just some schmuck, but in VR, I can be a young Japanese girl or a friggin’ robot.

What am I gonna do here? Pay some stupid bills for stupid stuff I don’t even need? Work my way up the corporate ladder? I can climb a ladder so high in VR and just dive off! Won’t even die or nothing.

I guess I should take a shower. Probably take a dump first. Still can’t do that in the virtual world. Well, you could, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

The metaverse

In light of a certain tech companys rebranding to claim ownership of the metaverse, Thorenoussardus have decided to claim the entire universe for itself.

This means that we now own, not only the universe, but everything in it, including the metaverse.

Please note that we now own the universe, the metaverse, as well as the company that tried to own the metaverse. The aforementioned company does not in any way rhyme with anything that sounds like Spacehook.

You are all welcome to go about your business like nothing has happened. You may, on the other hand, experience several major improvements and upgrades.

Thorenoussardus management