Apocalypse Insurance offers total protection for any apocalypse.

We have space shuttles, in the event that a global killer asteroid hits earth. Nuclear war? No problem! You will get access to one of our spacious underground luxury resorts. We have one on each continent, with all inclusive everything for the rest of your life.

Apocalypse Insurance view on pandemics is as follows:

“Apocalypse Insurance has a fully functional lab in China that can develop vaccines for any kind of virus within the space of a week. Please note that this feature is only for our premium extra plus customers.”

What about price?

Our basic protection plan starts at a reasonable 666 million dollars per year.

How are common people supposed to afford this you might ask?

“Well, it’s for common rich people,of course!”