Ask Dr. Unc- menstruation, slug, killer parrot

Lynda Burman of Birmingham wants to know:
My period is occurring twice monthly, should I be concerned?

Dr Unc:
It really depends on how much blood we are talking about. If its only one litre you can be calm as a little budgie. But if its more than that you’re in deep trouble Linda. I must ask you if you also perhaps have a little Brazilian killer parrot as a pet at home? If so, you must be aware that those creatures is known to suck blood when you are asleep. And if you have your period twice a week, you can’t afford more lost blood, so I strongly recommend you to get rid of that killer parrot, just to be safe.

James Hemsworth, Memphis, TN wants to know:
Are killer slugs safe to eat?

Dr Unc:
Are you really so hungry that you must eat those beautiful creatures? Let me twist your question from the killer slugs perspective. Is it safe for killer slugs to eat Jameses?

Stephen Stonebloom from New Haven asks:
Where can I buy a killer parrot and how much killing will it do?

Dr Unc:
There is only one provider of Brazilian killer parrots and they have their office in the deepest part of the amazon jungle. And you don’t find them, they find you, if they like you. Otherwise, they will probably feed you to their precious parrots. Killer parrot kills only if you say the wrong or right word, and that word is always a secret. Very exciting I must say!

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