Not now!

Thoreno walked in a purposeful manner, aiming straight ahead. He was a dinosaur intent on his mission. But Ssaurdus was in a playful mood. He danced around Thoreno, running and jumping about. Come play Thoreno, he coaxed.

Thoreno wasn’t having it. Can’t you see I’m busy Ssaurdus? But I want to play, said Ssaurdus. We can play another day, quipped Thoreno. But I want to play now! Ssaurdus was a pest, that little dinosaur never quit.

Thoreno spun around, his long and tapered tail nearly taking out Ssardus in the process. Ssardus ducked as the tail whipped past, just above his head.

Leave me alone Ssaurdus! I can’t do it today. I’m meeting Helenossaurdus for a date. Ssardus rushed in, tackling Thoreno, bowling him over on his back. Ssardus leapt onto Thoreno’s stomach and began tickling him maliciously. Thoreno laughed uncontrollably but was still visibly irritated with the incorrigible little Ssaurdus.

Alright! Enough! Everything stopped. Thoreno righted himself and began walking away but looking back, he smiled, see you soon, he said. He faced forward with original intent and marched onward.

Ssaurdus stood silently, examining the shrinking frame of Thoreno as he got smaller and smaller and farther and farther away.

Round two, Ssardus muttered to himself. He got a running start and picking up an alarming speed, he barreled down on an unsuspecting Thoreno.

Meanwhile, at Thorenoussardus World Headquarters

chairman: Meeting adjourned.

Larry: I’m pretty sure “adjourned” is what you say at the END of a meeting.

chairman: Er… can someone please read the minutes from the last meeting?

Joe: Boring.

chairman: Let’s just jump right in, shall we? Do any of you have any fresh, new ideas?

Jeb: I ain’t even sure what we actually do here to be honest.

chairman: Sales are down people! Way down!!!

Joe: We sell stuff?!

Jeb: I know, rite. Nobody told me neither.

Larry: We should tell more fart jokes!

Jeb: Yo mama.

Joe: Yeah… and yo mama jokes!

chairman: Order! Order!!!

Larry: We should DEFINITELY order.

Joe: I could go for a pizza.

chairman: Order I said!

Jeb: You ain’t gotta tell me twice ma’facker, I’m on the phone right now.

Joe: Order me a six pack.

Jeb: See that ice chest in the corner? Help youself ma’facker.

Joe: Chairman, I motion for Jeb to chair the remainder of the meeting.

Larry and Joe together: Jeb! Jeb! Jeb!

chairman: I can’t take this, it’s like this every meeting! I RESIGN!! [hands on face in despair]

Larry: But if you resign, who will we hijack the meeting from?

Joe: Yeah, Bill… ya dumpling.

chairman: Only my wife calls me that… how did you???…

Jeb/Joe/Larry [together]: ahahaha!!!

chairman [storming out]: I quit!

Larry: You guys wanna order dumplings?

Jeb: Can somebody cover me? I’m a bit light at the moment.

Larry: I’m flat broke.

Joe [holding up chairman’s wallet]: I got him in the elevator on the way in. It’s on the house.

Jeb: Yeeeedoggy!

Larry: Damn son!

Joe: Now reach in that ice chest and fetch me that beer.

Thorenoussardus Hiring

Thorenoussardus is now hiring a new Key Accounts Manager to replace Jeb. We thought we would reach out to our readers first. If you know anything about keys or accounts, please contact us. If you can manage stuff, that would be a bonus! Apply now and you will be given a signing bonus. We are currently enjoying a VERY expensive lobster dinner and will probably be in prison before the week is out- so please apply now!

Jeb Resigns… again

I’m tired of it. This Thorenoussardus shit is too much. I’m sick of it and I quit. This time I ain’t coming back. Let ’em get somebody else to do the job. I got better things to do. I mean, you guys reading this shit?! This thing done gone off the rails! Besides, I’m busy with space and stuff.

Look up. You gonna see this mother f**ker orbiting around the earth. -Jeb