Quantum Mechanics

We called Quantum Mechanics Incorporated to learn the latest in string theory, physics and the future of scientific research.

Owner: Quantum Mechanics, this is Jeb speaking.

Science Weekly: Yes, we were wondering if we could visit your facility and perhaps interview some of your researchers.

Owner: Uh… okay…

Science Weekly: We’re making a documentary about quantum mechanics.

Owner: A documentary? About us?

Science Weekly: Well, yes, about the field of quantum mechanics.

Owner: You want to shoot a documentary in the field behind Quantum Mechanics?

Science Weekly: The documentary is about quantum mechanics, yes.

Owner: What about it?

Science Weekly: What it is, how it works.

Owner: Well we’re working on a Jeep at the moment. Just put a new carburetor in and we’re about to toss on a lift kit and throw on some big ass off-road tires.

Science Weekly: Is this the quantum physics department at MIT?

Owner: Pff, nah, this is Quantum Mechanics Garage and Auto Body off highway 6.

Science Weekly: I think there’s been a mistake.

Owner: Hey man, you looking for an Eldorado Cadillac? I got one right here. Ain’t got much rust on it neither. Ma’facker still runs too.

Science Weekly: Sorry to bother you sir. [click]

Inside out

The next Nobel prize in physics might go to the physician Professor Juergen Dinklefeist from Switzerland for his lifelong research on the earth’s core. Secretly, he has drilled more than 10,000 holes deep into the earth. He has travelled around the world for years and years, drilling and drilling, deeper and deeper. He calls it the Schweitzer-cheese-method. He has attempted to empty the earth of all its magma so we could all move inside of earth if needed in the future. Like an inside-out kind of earth! Out with the hot stuff and in with water, people, animals and nature. Just a little artificial sun in there as well, and we are good to go, he claims in his latest paper.