Covid-23 is now said to hit hard for the few remaining Chinese pandas. To prevent the animals from going extinct, Chinese scientists are now working day and night to come up with a smarter kind of panda, half panda half machine. You will not see any difference, scientists say.

The U.S government and Homeland Security both react with great skepticism, claiming that the smart pandas from China can be used for spying, after they have been exported to zoos in other countries. Jebb Anderson, Homeland spokesman: “Just think about it! A smart panda sees and hears anything in a one kilometer range. An agent, or any secret guy, stands there in the zoo with screaming kids and all. And there, his secret phone goes off! He must take it, you know. Then what? I’m just sayin…”