Chinese Rare Animal Provider Program, CRAPP

CRAPP recently announced the yearly report on the status of exotic and almost extinct animals. They say that in just a few years it will be impossible to find tiger balls, rhino horn, elephant dick, and other special parts from these types of power animals. CRAPP is now planning to invest more in foreign zoos around the world, just to be safe.

Reader’s Digestives

A new media mogul has entered the stage. Reader’s Digestives covers all about their readers’ digestion. Different stories make the readers digest in different ways. Horror leads to faster digestion in comparison to love stories, where a steak can take one week to digest properly.

There is, of course,heavy research behind these claims. The founder is well-known scientist and entrepreneur, Doktor Unc: “Oh, yes you can digest in so many ways, thats very true. I thought that if you choose a specific group, like the readers, and see how they digest, it could be so very interesting for all of us. There is still so much to learn about the human body and mind, it’s all connected somehow, I think.”

Smart fat – the eyeopener

Researchers and entrepreneurs have combined A-Eye technology with fat from pigs to repair and mimic a human cornea. The blind people’s association, BPA, is very optimistic about this new treatment.

A-Eye specialist, Jeb Sharp: Just get some bacon, any kind, but maybe not the hickory smoked… fry it for at least 10 min, to isolate the fat. Mix it with the AI stuff and you are good to go. One drop in each eye for a week or two, that’s it. This is the future of A-Eye and I’m proud to be a part of it! Smells and taste good too.

Afterlife Music

Yes people, it’s true, the Kneecap Philharmonic Orchestra are back! The only orchestra in the world that uses human kneecaps as their main instrument!

The manager, Abriman Dabra says that each individual kneecap has its very own unique sound.

If you would like to be a part of their music after your death please contact us and we will make sure that your kneecaps reach the Orchestra in good condition.