Soldiers on the battlefield need to get around faster. Dropped from airplanes, they parachute down in the pouches of our marsupial friend, the Kangaroo. The Green Barroos, as they are called fight under the banner “Who dares wins!”
Trained in Swanbourne, near Perth, Australia, the special forces fire their rifles while bouncing around like little Joeys, firing their weapons from the safety of the pouch. The constant jumping Roo makes them very hard to hit and confuses the enemy.
Special Forces Barroo drill sergeant Jeb Dundee: Hell yeah! Stick me in a pouch and I’ll fight! Sounds as cozy as a croc in sock!
Doktor Unc has studied kangaroos for many years and is now convinced that it’s just a matter of time before the new “Roo flu” will jump over to humans, leaving Australia, and entering all other continents. It seems like the virus can only jump to humans via the kangaroo’s saliva. Dr. Unc therefore says that you should not French kiss kangaroos under any circumstances.
The first symptom of the virus will show exactly 2,5 minutes after the kiss. You will start to jump up and down uncontrollably for 6 minutes. Then you will shit your pants and die after two years and 16 days while jumping off a cliff somewhere. There is no cure so you better leave the animals alone!