We humans tend to not like surprises very much. But for dogs it seems to be ten times worse, perhaps more.
Surprise researcher Dr. Unc:Yes yes, it is very true, we don’t like surprises, especially not very sudden ones. It’s the fear of the unknown, you see. We are so afraid all the time; who’s that, what do they want, where are we going…? But for a dog! Oh, poor creatures react to any kind of surprise; a leaf, wind, ants, farting. All the many smelly surprises drive them crazy. We can learn so much from the dogs in this surprise research of mine, and I will soon tell you more about it, in the science paper I’m working on. The world is so full of surprises…
Larry: What about everyone on earth, are they still around!? Bot: No. Larry: What!? Bot: They are all gone. Larry: All gone!? Bot: Yes, they all died from the huge asteroid. Larry: So I’m really alone on this spacecraft? Bot: Yes, you are the only survivor, and it’s your responsibility to bring mankind to Mars. By the way, the ship is loaded with babies. Larry: Wait , what?! Bot: Yes, you daddy to many now. Larry: Why, why me!? Bot: You are the chosen one. Larry: I don’t like it. It’s too much responsibility! It’s making me very anxious! Bot: Are you afraid of responsibility? Larry: Yes, I don’t like it! Bot: You are alone on this spacecraft together with one million babies. Larry: No, I don’t wanna be alone with one million babies! One baby is too many babies! Bot: It is what it is, Larry. Larry: It’s scary! Bot: You have to deal with this fear, Larry. Larry: Do I have to do anything for them, like feed them? Bot: Yes Larry, you have to breastfeed them, all of them. Larry: But, but, my titties are not that great! Bot: They have been manipulated. Larry: Uhhh, do I have like one big breast or something? Bot: No, hundreds, on your back. Larry: These are all my worst fears coming to life! Do the babies at least like me? Bot: Not at all. Larry: Really, they don’t like me!? Bot: They don’t know about you, they can’t see you, they are blind. Larry: But, what happens when I feed them, what do they do? Bot: They just eat and go back to sleep. Larry: So they don’t care about me at all? Bot: They don’t care. Larry: Do they like my titties? Bot: They don’t care. Larry: How can they not care!? Bot: They just want the milk. Larry: Can I play with my titties? Bot: Well, you got hundreds of them. Larry: So I can squeeze them and look at myself? Bot: Yes, but that is perverse. Larry: Yeah, kind of. Bot: What kind of Daddy are you? A pervert space Daddy? Larry: Space Daddy is not happy at the moment…I don’t know if I like this!
Larry and Joe are planning to visit the Kremlin where they will address Putin and the other Kreminals directly. We have many questions, says Joe, like “what’s up with all the plastic surgery” and “can’t you be recycled into something useful instead”? Larry wants to know whether FSB is actually a bank and whether Putin sees himself as a sick tater or a dick tater? They plan to eat lunch together with Putin adding, “it’s not like he’s poisoned anyone before”.