He sat surveying the room. It had everything one could need. There was a table and chairs and plates and utensils and curtains over the window. At least there should be a window. He paused, taking in the flowing fabric of the curtains, and reflecting on the window behind them. Had he at some point, pulled back the curtains? Surely he would have done that. He could not recall. Yes, of course I would have at some point, right?! Yes, definitely, he attempted to convince himself.

This is silly thinking! I know there’s a window there. Of course there is! Ridiculous. I don’t have time for such unimportant details. He quickly shifted his attention away from the window, a bit disappointed that his thoughts could betray him like this.

He sat in silence in his cloudy, obtuse little room of thought, as he played out watching himself get up, go over to the window and pull back the drawn curtains. “There’s nothing out there,”a voice said. “Enough!” He shouted out loud. He withdrew back into himself as the vortex began to swirl, pulling him ever inward, further downward.

What time is it, he pondered? He was unsure how much time had passed as he caught himself studying the shape. He had seen it many times before. It was, after all, part of the room. His room. He got up and walked over to the door. He stood in front of it with a unique and familiar sense of anticipation that quickly dissipated. For a second he thought that it might just swing open. That’s silly! Why am I thinking such silly thoughts today?!

He dropped to take a knee, focusing his attention on the keyhole of the door. He could barely see light through it. He palmed the door with his hands. He felt the roughness of the wooden frame. “Look through the keyhole”, said a voice deep in the recesses of his mind. His head inched slightly closer. He began to see shapes and colors when he was instantly on his feet circling the room, waving his hands and repeating to himself, “this is so silly, what am I doing?”

He sat back down. The vortex, initiated once again, this time more forcefully and with greater intensity, as he gave it full license and permission to do so.

“There’s nothing out there, there’s nothing out there, there’s nothing out there…”

Dr. Unc and the death method

Dr. Unc: Welcome, Larry. 
Larry: Thank you, Doctor Unc. 
Dr. Unc: How are you today? 
Larry: Oh, I’m kind of excited. I’m supposed to go to this Halloween party. Umm yeah, I’m excited about it. I already have plans for my costume and yeah, it’s just going to be fun. I love Halloween so I’m kind of excited about it, really. 
Dr. Unc: I see, I see. It’s a nice weekend somehow. But still, it’s about death, you know that right? 
Larry: Death? Yeah, I guess so. 
Dr. Unc: Yes, you’re celebrating death. 
Larry: Oh? 
Dr. Unc: Yes, that’s what Halloween’s all about, death. Have you thought a lot about death and dying lately? 
Larry: No, I just thought it was a chance to come up with a fun, creative costume, and maybe meet some people. 
Dr. Unc: Now you’re escaping reality again. We have talked about that before. 
Larry: Yes… 
Dr. Unc: You’re talking about going to this party and having so much fun, but it’s all about death, it’s all about that we all are going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but certainly at some point we will die badly. 
Larry: Ah, I never thought of it that way. 
Dr. Unc: So why should we have so much fun? I think it’s better for you, Larry, to spend the whole weekend, the whole Halloween weekend, just thinking of death and that you’re going to die. 
Larry: So…no party? No costume? 
Dr. Unc: Nope. See you next week, Larry.