Schizophrenics less depressed!?

In the latest issue of the Austrian magazine, Psychology fur alle, there’s an article written by the controversial Doktor Unc. He claims that the best cure for depression is to go schizophrenic.

Dr. Unc: Yes, yes, it’s very true! If you are many people, less lonely, right? Now we only need to isolate the chemicals that lead to a schizophrenic state of mind. In my lab I have a couple of volunteers that let me experiment with their brains. I think very soon we make progress and can have this little little pill ready for the market. Very interesting project I must say.


Wouldn’t it be nice to change your mind and be someone else for a while?

We are now looking for volunteers for a new experimental research project.

You will stay in our luxury resort lab located in northern China. It’s of course more than all inclusive.

You will have access to the spa area, the gym, golf course, ping pong table, etc. We also pay you 100,000 dollars after your stay with us.

In return, we will just cut your head off and replace it with someone’s else’s for a while. Your original head will be frozen and very well preserved in a cryogenic tank during the 6 months stay. It will be reattached in good time before departure.

Please contact us for more information and any questions:

Inside Your Brain’s Control Center

This is an actual snapshot of your brain’s control center as viewed by an MRI machine. For reasons of personal privacy and security, we do not include your name or personal identifying information.

Things that your brain tries to control include:
• expectations and outcomes
• the war in Ukraine
• attachments
• stories and narratives (things we tell ourselves)
• the patent on absolute truth
• what you want to eat but shouldn’t
• things you ate but now regret

Things you can do to improve your out-of-control control center:
• mindfulness meditation
• turning off the t.v.
• going out to play
• smashy smashy errything (not recommended)
• drugs (as recommended by a physician)
• suicide (not recommended at all)
• murdering someone (please don’t)