Tag Archives: Apps

New Apps

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Just in time for Christmas!

LinkedOut– an app that discourages self promotion. Just be yourself; preferably less professional and really quite silly.

BaseLook– a platform that encourages you to NOT obsess over it. The less you check it, the better you feel!

Pick•Rock– The app-less app; no download required. You just go outside, find a rock and sit on it until you feel enlightened. Rock is heavy. You are light.

InstaFam– You can instantly talk to a person close to you as though they were family. The app is a simple jpeg of a human heart and is optimized to enhance emotional connection.

App•athY

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Tired of all these stupid apps you need to have for all these different things? Now there’s just one app for everything!

Introducing TRapp! The Thorenoussardus app. The only app you’ll ever need.

Jeb Hackney: Basically, we DDOS the shit outta your ISP, your router and all your devices. You’re basically f*#ked. Now you ain’t gotta worry ‘bout nothin’ no more. No need for all dese stoopid apps an’ shit. You just go back to zero. Fuck you an’ ‘ave a nice day. Like you welcome. Go [redacted] yourselves.

Merry Hanukkah, motha [redacted].

New app

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Tired of looking at the state of the world and feeling horrified? Are you thinking that things might be even worse than you suspect? That maybe there’s even more to the story?

That’s where our handy app comes in handy. Why wait? Experience Mortify™ for yourself and get the complete bad news all at once!

before Mortify™:

Man suspected in bank heist still at large.

after Mortify™: Serial killer involved in bank heist, which left five injured and seven decapitated, is roaming the city and is almost certainly in your closet right now.

See! It really works!

Thanks Mortify™!

The metaverse

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In light of a certain tech companys rebranding to claim ownership of the metaverse, Thorenoussardus have decided to claim the entire universe for itself.

This means that we now own, not only the universe, but everything in it, including the metaverse.

Please note that we now own the universe, the metaverse, as well as the company that tried to own the metaverse. The aforementioned company does not in any way rhyme with anything that sounds like Spacehook.

You are all welcome to go about your business like nothing has happened. You may, on the other hand, experience several major improvements and upgrades.

Thorenoussardus management