Have you ever wondered what it would be like to ride a cyborg metrotrain? Well, wonder no more, because the future is here! Introducing the Cybernetic Mass Transit Railway (CMTR), the world’s first and only metro system that uses half machine half animal hybrids as trains. Yes, you heard right. These are not your ordinary trains. These are living, breathing, roaring creatures that can take you anywhere you want to go in the city. And they are all powered by MTR Corporation, the company that operates the Hong Kong subway and several other rail networks around the world1.

The CMTR is the result of a groundbreaking experiment that combines advanced genetic engineering and cybernetics. The scientists behind this project wanted to create a more eco-friendly and efficient way of transporting people in urban areas. They decided to use animals as the base for their trains, because they are naturally adapted to different terrains and climates. They also added mechanical parts to enhance the speed, strength, and intelligence of the train. The result is a fleet of cyborg metrotrains that can run on tracks, roads, or even fly through the air.

The CMTR has a variety of cyborg metrotrains to suit different needs and preferences. You can choose from cyber-lionscyber-eaglescyber-dolphinscyber-snakes, and many more. Each one has its own personality and features. For example, the cyber-lion is the fastest and most powerful of the bunch, but also the most aggressive and noisy. The cyber-eagle is the most graceful and elegant, but also the most expensive and exclusive. The cyber-dolphin is the most friendly and playful, but also the most prone to accidents and malfunctions. The cyber-snake is the most stealthy and flexible, but also the most creepy and scary.

CMTR is not only a transportation system, but also a tourist attraction and cultural phenomenon. People from all over the world come to see and ride these amazing creatures. They also take selfies with them, feed them snacks, pet them, and even name them. Some people even form bonds with their favorite cyborg metrotrains, and visit them regularly. The CMTR has become a symbol of innovation and creativity, as well as a source of entertainment and controversy.

However, not everyone is happy with CMTR. Some critics argue that it is unethical and cruel to use animals as machines. They claim that the cyborg metrotrains are suffering from pain, stress, and confusion. They also worry about the environmental and health impacts of such a project. They say that the CMTR is a disaster waiting to happen, and that it should be shut down immediately.

Chinese Rare Animal Provider Program, CRAPP

CRAPP recently announced the yearly report on the status of exotic and almost extinct animals. They say that in just a few years it will be impossible to find tiger balls, rhino horn, elephant dick, and other special parts from these types of power animals. CRAPP is now planning to invest more in foreign zoos around the world, just to be safe.

Smart fat – the eyeopener

Researchers and entrepreneurs have combined A-Eye technology with fat from pigs to repair and mimic a human cornea. The blind people’s association, BPA, is very optimistic about this new treatment.

A-Eye specialist, Jeb Sharp: Just get some bacon, any kind, but maybe not the hickory smoked… fry it for at least 10 min, to isolate the fat. Mix it with the AI stuff and you are good to go. One drop in each eye for a week or two, that’s it. This is the future of A-Eye and I’m proud to be a part of it! Smells and taste good too.

The eagle

Joe: I hardly dream about animals, but tonight I dreamt about an eagle.
Larry: An eagle?
Joe: Yeah! I saved an eagle from my neighbour’s balcony!
It was trapped in a rope somehow. I had to break into my neighbour’s apartment, and release the rope from the eagle. The eagle was so grateful, and we became friends, me and the eagle! 
Larry: (LOL)
Joe: I carried the eagle like it was my baby, up to the nest, and it was an ordinary small birdhouse, for small birds! The eagle actually lived there!
Larry: What!?
Joe: Yeah, I know, how could it fit, but the eagle was just diving into it!
Larry: Into that small birdhouse hole?
Joe: Yeah, and then he was so comfy in his little birdhouse.
Larry: Was he looking out at ya?
Joe: Yeah!
Larry: Wow, that’s a weird dream!