Category Archives: SURVIVAL

Inside out

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The next Nobel prize in physics might go to the physician Professor Juergen Dinklefeist from Switzerland for his lifelong research on the earth’s core. Secretly, he has drilled more than 10,000 holes deep into the earth. He has travelled around the world for years and years, drilling and drilling, deeper and deeper. He calls it the Schweitzer-cheese-method. He has attempted to empty the earth of all its magma so we could all move inside of earth if needed in the future. Like an inside-out kind of earth! Out with the hot stuff and in with water, people, animals and nature. Just a little artificial sun in there as well, and we are good to go, he claims in his latest paper.

Man Eater

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2019 (China)
It was dead quiet in the lab, except for the rhythmic swishing sound that the blood centrifuge gave off. “It’s time now.” the professor said, reaching for a black box which was no bigger than a smartphone. The lab assistant received the box as if it were made of the most fragile porcelain. “Yes Mother.”

2022
“The COVID-19 pandemic, also known as the Coronavirus pandemic, is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) caused by severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 (SARS-CoV-2). It was first identified in December 2019 in Wuhan, China. The World Health Organization declared the outbreak a Public Health Emergency of International Concern on 20 January 2020, and later a pandemic on 11 March 2020. As of 30 March 2021, more than 127 million cases have been confirmed, with more than 2.79 million deaths attributed to COVID-19, making it one of the deadliest pandemics in history.” (Wikipedia)

2029
At first it looked as if it was mainly the elderly and already sick who suffered most, and died, from the Coronavirus. What happened next no one had anticipated, although the scientists agreed that male sex was one of the risk factors. Only women survived, and reproduction is now done with the help of genetic engineering and cloning.

2035
The earth and climate begin to recover, and all wars have ceased.

Space Daddy

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Larry: What about everyone on earth, are they still around!?
Bot: No.
Larry: What!?
Bot: They are all gone.
Larry: All gone!?
Bot: Yes, they all died from the huge asteroid.
Larry: So I’m really alone on this spacecraft?
Bot: Yes, you are the only survivor, and it’s your responsibility to bring mankind to Mars. By the way, the ship is loaded with babies.
Larry: Wait , what?!
Bot: Yes, you daddy to many now.
Larry: Why, why me!?
Bot: You are the chosen one.
Larry: I don’t like it. It’s too much responsibility! It’s making me very anxious!
Bot: Are you afraid of responsibility?
Larry: Yes, I don’t like it!
Bot: You are alone on this spacecraft together with one million babies.
Larry: No, I don’t wanna be alone with one million babies! One baby is too many babies!
Bot: It is what it is, Larry.
Larry: It’s scary!
Bot: You have to deal with this fear, Larry.
Larry: Do I have to do anything for them, like feed them?
Bot: Yes Larry, you have to breastfeed them, all of them.
Larry: But, but, my titties are not that great!
Bot: They have been manipulated.
Larry: Uhhh, do I have like one big breast or something?
Bot: No, hundreds, on your back.
Larry: These are all my worst fears coming to life! Do the babies at least like me?
Bot: Not at all.
Larry: Really, they don’t like me!?
Bot: They don’t know about you, they can’t see you, they are blind.
Larry: But, what happens when I feed them, what do they do?
Bot: They just eat and go back to sleep.
Larry: So they don’t care about me at all?
Bot: They don’t care.
Larry: Do they like my titties?
Bot: They don’t care.
Larry: How can they not care!?
Bot: They just want the milk.
Larry: Can I play with my titties?
Bot: Well, you got hundreds of them.
Larry: So I can squeeze them and look at myself?
Bot: Yes, but that is perverse.
Larry: Yeah, kind of.
Bot: What kind of Daddy are you? A pervert space Daddy?
Larry: Space Daddy is not happy at the moment…I don’t know if I like this!