White shark rat mixer – the prequel

It was a dark and stormy night. Dr. Unc was in his laboratory, working on his latest creation. He had always dreamed of creating a hybrid creature that would combine the best traits of different animals. He had already succeeded in making a cat-dog, a spider-monkey, and a croco-duck. But his ultimate goal was to create a white shark rat mixer.

A white shark rat mixer was a creature that had the body of a white shark, the head of a rat, and the ability to mix any substance with its powerful jaws. Dr. Unc believed that such a creature would be the perfect assistant in his experiments, as well as a formidable weapon against his enemies.

He had spent months collecting the necessary materials for his project. He stole a white shark from the aquarium, a rat from the sewer, and a mixer from the kitchen. He had also built a special tank that could hold the hybrid creature and provide it with electricity. He was ready to begin the final stage of his experiment.

He placed the shark, the rat, and the mixer on his operating table and connected them with wires. He then turned on the switch that would send a surge of electricity through them, hoping to fuse them into one being. He waited with anticipation as sparks flew and smoke filled the air. He heard a loud roar and a splash. He looked at the tank and saw his creation emerge from the water. It was a white shark rat mixer!

He was overjoyed. He had done it! He had created a white shark rat mixer! He approached the tank and greeted his new friend. "Hello, my beautiful creature. I am your father. You are my white shark rat mixer." The creature looked at him with its beady eyes and opened its mouth.

It revealed its sharp teeth and its spinning blades. It said in a raspy voice: "Hello, father. I am your white shark rat mixer. And I am hungry." It then lunged at him and bit off his arm. Dr. Unc screamed in pain and horror. He realized too late that he had made a terrible mistake. He had created a white shark rat mixer!

Reproduction

We understand that we are to reproduce and raise children, This is what humans and animals evolved to do, right?!

In this world we are living in…? Nah, let’s pull the brakes on everything until we manage to rid ourselves of war and harm to people and the planet.

The solution is not reproduction. The solution is selection… let us be more selective!

Smart fat – the eyeopener

Researchers and entrepreneurs have combined A-Eye technology with fat from pigs to repair and mimic a human cornea. The blind people’s association, BPA, is very optimistic about this new treatment.

A-Eye specialist, Jeb Sharp: Just get some bacon, any kind, but maybe not the hickory smoked… fry it for at least 10 min, to isolate the fat. Mix it with the AI stuff and you are good to go. One drop in each eye for a week or two, that’s it. This is the future of A-Eye and I’m proud to be a part of it! Smells and taste good too.

Smart toilets

The new generation of public toilets can now analyze your urine and tell you how pissed you are. It will provide your health status, and much more! Just pee, receive, and go!

Regular user of public toilets, Jeb Stone:

“I was just goin in there to pee, man…and then a freaky voice started to tell me stuff! It said I had cancer in my butt, that I most likely had diabetes, that I was way too drunk, but that Jesus loved me anyway! I don’t like where all this smart shit is goin’, not one god damn bit!”