Asteroids – bringer of life and death

We all have been told that the dinosaurs became extinct due to a huge asteroid that hit Mexico. Now that theory is seriously challenged by Dr. Unc. He claims that the dinosaurs came to earth inside the asteroid. They were just fine and spread quickly all over the world. They ate anything and everything until there was nothing left to eat. So they started to eat each other, and that’s why they didn’t last long on earth. That was great luck for the humans that came to earth with the next huge asteroid. “We are all such space travelers!” Says Dr. Unc.

Silicone Hills

A cemetery in the Hollywood Hills is now called Silicone Hills, due to all the bodies with silicone implants.

Church Warden, Jebulon Dustfield: There’s so much silicone in the ground that the worms just leave by the thousands, it’s a goddamn worm exodus down here, I tell ya! From earth to earth, ashes to ashes…nah…I don’t like where this is going!

Space Daddy

Larry: What about everyone on earth, are they still around!?
Bot: No.
Larry: What!?
Bot: They are all gone.
Larry: All gone!?
Bot: Yes, they all died from the huge asteroid.
Larry: So I’m really alone on this spacecraft?
Bot: Yes, you are the only survivor, and it’s your responsibility to bring mankind to Mars. By the way, the ship is loaded with babies.
Larry: Wait , what?!
Bot: Yes, you daddy to many now.
Larry: Why, why me!?
Bot: You are the chosen one.
Larry: I don’t like it. It’s too much responsibility! It’s making me very anxious!
Bot: Are you afraid of responsibility?
Larry: Yes, I don’t like it!
Bot: You are alone on this spacecraft together with one million babies.
Larry: No, I don’t wanna be alone with one million babies! One baby is too many babies!
Bot: It is what it is, Larry.
Larry: It’s scary!
Bot: You have to deal with this fear, Larry.
Larry: Do I have to do anything for them, like feed them?
Bot: Yes Larry, you have to breastfeed them, all of them.
Larry: But, but, my titties are not that great!
Bot: They have been manipulated.
Larry: Uhhh, do I have like one big breast or something?
Bot: No, hundreds, on your back.
Larry: These are all my worst fears coming to life! Do the babies at least like me?
Bot: Not at all.
Larry: Really, they don’t like me!?
Bot: They don’t know about you, they can’t see you, they are blind.
Larry: But, what happens when I feed them, what do they do?
Bot: They just eat and go back to sleep.
Larry: So they don’t care about me at all?
Bot: They don’t care.
Larry: Do they like my titties?
Bot: They don’t care.
Larry: How can they not care!?
Bot: They just want the milk.
Larry: Can I play with my titties?
Bot: Well, you got hundreds of them.
Larry: So I can squeeze them and look at myself?
Bot: Yes, but that is perverse.
Larry: Yeah, kind of.
Bot: What kind of Daddy are you? A pervert space Daddy?
Larry: Space Daddy is not happy at the moment…I don’t know if I like this!

Aliens and UFOs

They sometimes call us aliens and UFOs. That’s just what we are! We have been placed here on earth to observe and help for the greater good. But now it’s time for us to leave, nothing can save humanity from itself. They are doomed and so is the planet they call earth. So long and no thanks, we don’t need any fish.

See ya!