Category Archives: IT

Smart toilets

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The new generation of public toilets can now analyze your urine and tell you how pissed you are. It will provide your health status, and much more! Just pee, receive, and go!

Regular user of public toilets, Jeb Stone:

“I was just goin in there to pee, man…and then a freaky voice started to tell me stuff! It said I had cancer in my butt, that I most likely had diabetes, that I was way too drunk, but that Jesus loved me anyway! I don’t like where all this smart shit is goin’, not one god damn bit!”

Smart Fruit

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Rumors say that Apple is about to launch a new product this year!

Tech Guru, Jebrish Tenderblat: It gotta be “the smart apple” this time, it just gotta be! I have been waiting for it ever since I ate my first rotten apple, with a worm inside! I still have nightmares about it! But now, with this new smart fruit technology that ain’t gonna happen again, that’s for sure! The smart fruit will tell ya if it’s rotten or not, and you actually don’t have to eat it, you know, it could also be a nice dude to chat with, or bring to a baseball game! Can’t wait to get my hands on The Apple!

Smart or haunted?

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Houses of today are so smart that you can’t tell if it’s haunted or just smart and buggy! The ghostbusters union are upset, and claim that their members and workers suffer from this uncertain tech evolution.

Ghostbuster Jeb: Yes, We are so fucked! All people just call IT-support instead of calling us, the ghostbusters. It’s really sad. I guess I have to go back to school and become an engineer instead. I don’t like it!