Get rid of that stupid above ground pool. Throw out that tired old barbecue pit. Turn your yard a Scotland Yard!

Imagine the thrill of being under constant surveillance with daily investigations into your personal life and finances. Your life has gone from boring old Jim Bloom to James Bond!

You will be questioned, photographed and interrogated by Scotland Yard in your very own backyard!

Order now and we’ll throw in Boris – Putin’s right hand man for free. Every time you eat or drink, you face the possibility of being poisoned. Snack time is fun time and dinner never dull! Thinking of grabbing that doorknob with a gloveless hand? Think again! Boris swabbed it in Novichok!

Exciting and fun for the whole family! Your kids will eat it up!!!

Disclaimer: Not liable for intentional or unintentional damage or injury resulting from shooting, stabbing, poisoning or any other injury caused by Scotland Yard, Boris, Putin, Russia or The Ottoman Empire.