Today is someone’s birthday. Statistically speaking, this must be true. We don’t know who you are but we know you’re out there.

Just remember that you are not the only one in the world who has a birthday today. You’re not that special. You probably don’t even deserve to have a good day today. We hope you do anyway. Whatever. Who cares. Eat a gummy and stop your whining.

Thorenoussardus MGMT