Several of the Seven Dwarfs were arrested yesterday for the manufacture of meth amphetamine.

Agent Jeb Clemons: We interrogated all seven, just to be sure. We knew it wasn’t Sleepy so we let him go. Bashful just didn’t fit the profile. Happy ain’t ever seen Meth before. Sneezy was too allergic to even consider.

That left us with Doc, who we think was manufacturing the stuff. Dopey, I mean c’mon, his name is Fukien Dopey, right? Grumpy seemed like he was coming off a massive bender. All we’s know is we took a major drug empire off the streets.

We reached out to Snow White, who did not respond for comment.