Santa is being charged under The Child Labor Act for employing underage children at his North Pole factory.
Agent Jeb Fairy: We had the whole place under surveillance for months and all the workers were under a meter tall. There were kids all over the place.
Santa: They’re not kids, they’re elves you dimwit!
Agent Jeb Fairy: You can call them whatever you like, you’re going to jail for this you creepy old man.
Santa: But I’m Santa! I’m beloved by all.
Agent Jeb Fairy: You’re gonna end up like Jeffrey Epstein [then whispers to Santa] Am I still gonna get that Play Station I asked for?
Santa: Ho Ho Ho, I don’t think soooo!