Adult seeks permanent asylum in VR

I’m sick of all this shit. Just upload me to the metaverse already! I’m tired of loading the dishwasher, fighting traffic, going to bed on time, working and not getting paid enough, politics, religion and war. There’s a better place; a better way. It’s called BONELAB and it’s waiting there for me!

In the “real world” I’m just some idiot driving, a moron walking around or a complete jackass standing in line. In Virtual Reality, I’m driving a go cart on the moon! Here I’m just some schmuck, but in VR, I can be a young Japanese girl or a friggin’ robot.

What am I gonna do here? Pay some stupid bills for stupid stuff I don’t even need? Work my way up the corporate ladder? I can climb a ladder so high in VR and just dive off! Won’t even die or nothing.

I guess I should take a shower. Probably take a dump first. Still can’t do that in the virtual world. Well, you could, but I wouldn’t recommend it.