The new generation of public toilets can now analyze your urine and tell you how pissed you are. It will provide your health status, and much more! Just pee, receive, and go!

Regular user of public toilets, Jeb Stone:

“I was just goin in there to pee, man…and then a freaky voice started to tell me stuff! It said I had cancer in my butt, that I most likely had diabetes, that I was way too drunk, but that Jesus loved me anyway! I don’t like where all this smart shit is goin’, not one god damn bit!”