Dr. Unc and the Space method

Dr. Unc: Welcome, Larry.
Larry: Uh…thank you.
Dr. Unc: How has your week been?
Larry: Stressful.
Dr. Unc: Why Stress? Did you see anything that upset you?
Larry: Yeah.
Dr. Unc: What was that?
Larry: I’ve been watching a lot of videos and documentaries about space recently. All this talk about Mars, Mars, Mars. I don’t know… It’s got me worried. Why, why are we going to Mars. I’m watching this and I’m thinking like if there’s something about to happen that I don’t know about?
Dr. Unc: I see. You don’t feel that you are included in this greater plan.
Larry: It’s so big! I mean, it goes on literally forever.
Dr. Unc: It’s very true, but we are all children of the stars, you know that, right?
Larry: I’m a star child…
Dr. Unc: It’s beautiful out there, isn’t it?
Larry: I don’t know if I can call it beautiful…
Dr. Unc: All the colors, all the colors, Larry!
Larry: I feel separated from it. I just feel apart from it. I don’t know how people feel that they belong in all that. I just don’t see myself as any part of it.
Dr. Unc: Relax! I have a method. I call it the space method.
Larry: Uhm…
Dr. Unc: Close your eyes!
Larry: OK.
Dr. Unc: Breath in! Breath out. Breath in! Breath out. Now, pretend that you are out there in space in a little, little spacecraft. Russian probably, might be Chinese, but probably Russian! Can you feel that you are there, now?
Larry: Yeah, but I wish there were bigger windows.
Dr. Unc: Ah, the Russians doesn’t like windows so much. Chinese though, big, huge windows. Are you alone, at this spacecraft, or is it someone else in this spacecraft?
Larry: I don’t know.
Dr. Unc: look around you!
Larry: OK.
Dr. Unc: Can you see who’s there?
Larry: Is there someone there? I feel like that it shouldn’t be someone here.
(Cat meowing)
Dr. Unc: Well…it’s a little cat.
Larry: A cat!
Dr. Unc: Yes, Boris.
Larry: Oh, that’s not so bad.
Dr. Unc: A Russian cat actually.
Larry: Russian?
Dr. Unc: Boris is a Russian name, isn’t it?
Larry: Yes, I guess…
Dr. Unc: Very good. Is there gravity inside the spacecraft?
Larry: No, I think I’m floating.
Dr. Unc: Yes, you are weightless. That’s what happens in space, Larry.
Larry: Ah, just me and the cat floating, it’s not so bad.
Dr. Unc: Can you see the claws?
Larry: Yeah.
Dr. Unc: The teeth?
Larry: Yeah, it got big teeth and claws. It’s not so bad, right?
Dr. Unc: Boris hasn’t eaten for 10 weeks.
Larry: Oh no!
Dr. Unc: Does it feel less lonely now when you know you’re not alone in this Russian spacecraft?
Larry: Yeah, I mean, I don’t feel so alone, but I think I preferred to be alone.
Dr. Unc: You don’t like Boris?
Larry: He seems threatening!
Dr. Unc: He’s just hungry.
Larry: Yeah, but…
Dr. Unc: Do you blame that little Russian cat to be hungry?
Larry: No, no, it’s not his fault, but I mean…
Dr. Unc: Are you willing to help this little cat?
Larry: Do we have any food here?
Dr. Unc: It’s you.
Larry: I’m the food!?
Dr. Unc: Boris likes soft tissue.
Larry: Soft tissue?
Dr. Unc: Soft flesh.
Larry: Soft flesh? Ahh…
Dr. Unc: Does that trouble you somehow?
Larry: Yeah, a bit, yeah. Let the cat die! I don’t care about Boris the fucking cat!
Dr. Unc: Open your eyes. Does it feel better now?
Larry: Yeah, it feels so much more relaxed now.
(Cat meowing)
Larry: No!…
Dr. Unc: See you next week, Larry.

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