Tough Luck Insurance

At Tough Luck Insurance, we may not pay out your claim, but we are happy to acknowledge that “it is bad”. Our programmed bot will analyze your claim and will provide you with answers. Here is what you can expect when you contact Tough Luck Insurance.

claimant: A tornado destroyed my house, is that covered?
bot: That’s bad.
[long pause]
claimant: You still there?
bot: What kind of tornado was it?
claimant: I don’t know… a twister.
bot: We’re sorry, we do not cover that particular type of tornado, etcetera, etcetera.
claimant: Huh?
bot: I will make the necessary calculations… Calculation complete.
claimant: That was quick.
bot: Our calculations indicate that you owe us fifty-thousand twenty-nine fifty and four hundred dollars.
claimant: That’s not even a number… and why should I have to pay you?
bot: I did admit that it is, indeed bad, and even added etcetera, several times. How would you like to pay?
claimant: I’m not paying you, you’re supposed to pay me! My house is trashed.
bot: That is bad, etc etc.
claimant: Fuck you guys!
bot: And thank you ma’am.
claimant: I’m a man!!
bot: We disagree.

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