Introducing… Magic Filter!©™

Simply place the Magic Filter!©™ in your coffeemaker and pour all those bad, opposing ideas that you don’t agree with, through it. Magic Filter!©™ will filter out all the bad thoughts and ideas that you oppose, leaving only ideas you agree with!

Disclaimer: Magic Filter!©™ is 99.91% effective.

Example 1: You are sensitive to “bad” language. Here are the results after using Magic Filter!©™:

“Listen here you bucking mother trucker! You are a bucking klunt. I’ll kick your bass you dog jammed brother trucker!”

Example 2: You are a proponent of flat earth. Magic Filter!©™ will produce this for you:

“You right! Shit be flat as a pancake motha fucka!” And for the rest of you, your filter will produce something like this: “Look at all these dumb motha fuckas who think shit be flat”.

Example 3: The politics filter. The political filter works like this. When the Magic Political Filter© ™ is applied, the machine agrees with you and repeatedly tells you how righteous you are.

Magic Filter!©™. Because you deserve a morning filled only with the ideas you already agree with!