Thorenoussardus Kremlin

Larry and Joe were sitting at the Kremlin, holding their cups of poison tea when suddenly, through the wall burst… Thorenoussardus! Normally, a creature of kindness and well-mannered disposition, Thorenoussardus was anything but! It went straight for the far end of the table where Putin sat, distanced from his obedient little yes-men. To everyone’s surprise, the beast merely stopped and sniffed Putin. The entire room expected Thorenoussardus to devour him but Thorenoussardus just examined him, snorting and inhaling his essence. The armed guards were in such dismay that no guns were drawn as the examination continued. Unexpectedly, Thorenoussardus’ bulky head lifted skyward, as though it were having an allergic reaction and about to release the most violent of sneezes! With convulsions and writhing and a gnashing of teeth, Thorenoussardus began to eject the most vile mucus-filled vomit onto the table, floors and walls of the Kremlin, bathing Putin and his band of miscreants in its bright green viscosity. Larry and Joe, poison teacups still in hand, gazed out at the room as everyone, slowly drowned, choking, unable to breathe.

Larry and Joe quietly put down their poison teacups, fully dry and un-poisoned, and walked towards the door. As they reached the door, they turned to survey the large room, only to see Thorenoussardus sexually assaulting the gasping slimy, plasticky, wet rag doll and soon-to-be corpse of Vladimir Putin.

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