Psychic* claims apple carries “so much pain”.

Apple thought to be Red Delicious or Spartan apple, but probably as irrelevant as the psychic*.

“I’ve tried to do it with my clothes on, but the feeling is more intense with my clothes off. My skin serves as a conductor, allowing me to communicate with the psyche of my subject, in this case, an apple”.

When asked whether the apple is even capable of conscious thought, the psychic* quipped, “I can do humans as well as fruit and vegetables”.

Thorenoussardus biologist, and skeptic, Joe asked if we could test this in our lab, to which the psychic* responded, “I don’t like to be naked in front of people.”

[Psychic* is used throughout the article and the * is used instead of referring to psychics* as buttholes- which they most certainly are].

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