Thorenoussardus in contentious lawsuit with prominent keyboard manufacturer

Artist’s rendition of a person frustrated with their computer.

Mega media-mogul giant, Thorenoussardus, are in a civil lawsuit claiming that the keyboard sometimes omits vowels and even consonants.

Spokesperson and head of marketing and design, Jeb had this to say:
“They vowels ain’t workin’. Thay took our vowels! Day tewk our vowlz! Dae duk arrr bowels!
Now I gotsta copy/pasta errythang”.

Court transcripts were obtained by an anonymous source and are as follows:

keyboard manufacturer: If you can’t type properly, how is that our fault?
JOE: Stupid says as stoopid does.
Thorenoussardus lawyer: Joe, I really don’t think…
JOE (interrupting): We pay you a LOT of T-coin.
Thorenoussardus lawyer: T-coin is worthless.
JUDGE: order! order!!
LARRY: Do I really need to be here?
JUDGE: sit down!
LARRY: [sits down]
keyboard manufacturer: Judge if we may…
JUDGE: continue
keyboard manufacturer: Judge, Thorenoussardus bought this keyboard with worthless T-coin, so they got it for free and now they are blaming us for their poor typing skills. Their head of marketing, Jeb can’t even read, much less type!
JUDGE: the court awards all fees to be paid by Thor… Thore… no…
WHAT THE **** is a THORENOUSSARDUS?! Case dismissed!
JEB: I can so read. I read in the brochure that you get a free rooster jus fer showin’ up.

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